Chundles

It's February in the sports world, and with no blockbuster trades brewing in the NBA, the media (ESPN, really) needs something to talk about. SportsCenter is doing a cool piece on each state's Mt. Rushmore of Sports, which is kinda cool. I just saw Alabama--Hank Aaron, Bear Bryant, Bo Jackson, Willie Mays (played 3 yrs for Negro League team in the state).

In terms of purported "news", the story of the day is obviously A-Rod's admission that he did steroids, and his press conference yesterday from the Yanks Spring Training facility in Tampa, FL. There's a fair amount of outrage at the idiocy of some of Rodriguez's comments/responses yesterday (my cousin did it, I didn't know what I was injecting, etc.), but this story is being blown way out of proportion. Not because steroids in baseball isn't news, but because people just don't like A-Rod. So my advice to Alex is this: Shut the f up. Work on getting the Yankees back to the post season, and when you do, try hard to play well. That's it. If you succeed with this, everyone will love you, and all past sins will be forgotten. Every time you open your mouth (kinda like TO), you say something stupid and perpetuate everyone's belief that you're just a douchey guy who can play baseball really well.

All of us (led by the media) place unreasonable expectations on pro athletes just because they're in the public eye and make a lot of money. We expect them to all be great human beings with well developed emotional intelligence and intellect, a deep motivation to be honest and forthright, interesting, likeable and soulful, and also able to express their opinions and feelings in an articulate manner.

Despite their physical and athletic attributes, all these guys are flawed human beings, just like the rest of us. And the truth is, most of them are just not that likeable--at least the ones who get face time on TV. Shaq, Charles Barkley, and others are the exception, not the rule. It's just that some guys are better than others at shutting the F up and not saying anything that isn't plain vanilla. A-Rod really should stick to the Michael Jordan script and only talk about the game and the effort he's putting in to get better. That's it. If he does those things, Yanks fans will love him.

And btw Yankees fans, to quote the great Artie Lange "waaaaaaaaah." Rodriguez is arguably the best player of the modern era, and he's in his prime, so stop complaining. Who cares if he's a douche. If he fixes his post season woes and brings some titles to the Bronx, y'all will love him. I guarantee it. People forget that Joe Dimaggio wasn't the most likeable fellow in the room, but everyone remembers him as a hero, and maybe the best Yankee ever.

My last point: to the extent you care, or want an asterisk next to people's names, etc, as far as I'm concerned, the entire era of baseball--going back to the late 80s with folks like Bo Jackson, Pete Incaviglia, Cory Snyder, McGwire, Clemens, etc--should be identified with steroids. It didn't start in the late 90s. It started 10 years earlier. Does anyone remember how many home runs were hit in 1987? A zillion. Unless it's obvious (Manny Trillo, for example), presume everyone who played during this era guilty, and stop asking folks like Albert Pujols, who very well might've "supplemented", what they think. That's like asking OJ to opine on murder. It just doesn't matter. What matters is championships :)

So please, for the sake of our enjoyment of sports during these shitty economic times, let's stop talking about this. I'm sick of it.

John Stewart made a good point last week about Wall Street's reaction to the first details on the bank bailout: who gives a sh*t what Wall Street thinks!?!?!

I agree. While it's overly simplistic to say Wall Street caused all the problems we're in the middle of, they certainly were a big part of it. If they don't want our money to help their businesses survive, than someone should have the courage to tell them to go F themselves. Put them in the unemployment queue and see what they think then.

The Obama Administration has been granted, by the American people, a chance to fix the giant mess we're in, so let's all shut up and give them a chance. Take some solace in the fact that decisions are being made based on fact and with input from a broad swath of experts. That's what the American people deserve, and that is oodles more than we got from the Cheney/Bush administration.

I read this morning that Caterpillar Corp. agreed to rescind some of the 22k layoffs they recently announced if the stimulus bill passes. This is bad.

Our economy needs a recalibration. Businesses that grew too quickly need to slow down; banks that lent money to the wrong people need to be more conservative; home buyers need to buy houses they can afford, US automakers need to learn how to innovate, etc.

What we don't need is to give these large, multinational, multibillion dollar organizations a reason to continue the status quo. If that's all the stimulus bill does, we'll be right back where we started whenever the money runs out. And next time, it'll be more expensive than it is today.

Today, Barack Hussein Obama officially became the 44th President of the United States of America as the peaceful transfer of power from George W. Bush to President Obama took place on the world stage. On many levels, today is a new day. One filled with pride and hope--for America as a Nation, for Americans, and for nations and people all over the world who desire freedom, democracy, and prosperity.

The two primary focal points of today's ceremonies and the related media coverage were a)more than 40 years after the Civil Rights Act was passed, our Nation's first African American took office as President, and b)the last 8 years of war, recession, dogmatic policy, political nepotism, arrogant leadership and our crumbled reputation around the world are finally over.

Watching the Inaugural festivities over the weekend, I felt a strong sense of pride being an American. It was the same feeling I had on Election night, but only stronger given how close the moment was. Today, as I watched the Obama family take the stage in their final moments before the transition of power, my feelings swelled. For the first time in our history, someone who did not descend from Northwest Europe was going to be our President. Less than 200 years after blacks were slaves in this country, and slightly more than 40 years after they finally were granted rights on par with caucasians, a person of color was about to assume the highest office in our nation. None of the world's major countries--in Asia, Africa, South America or "enlightened" Europe--has ever elected a minority to its highest office. It took America to finally (hopefully once and for all) knock down the racial barriers and elect the best man for the job, regardless of his skin color. That in and of itself is reason to be proud.

Watching Obama and his family through the campaign, transition, and again yesterday, for some reason, I feel like I relate to them in ways I've never related to our President before. Perhaps it's my age and the fact that I have a family, but I suspect it's more than that. He's a relatively young person, more or less part of my generation. Given his background, he's also responsible for all the success he's experienced. No one gave him anything, and in fact, because of the color of his skin and his name, he likely faced challenges that only people of color can relate to. While his success thus far no doubt labels him an extraordinary person, he seems like a down to earth person, rooted in all the trappings (good and bad) of the modern world. And by raising two young daughters, I'm sure that as a husband and a father, he has faced, and will continue to face, many of the same challenges we all do. "Family Values" have been hijacked in America by the religious right, and I'm confident the Obama's will grasp the opportunity to set an example to all American families and take back the concept of family values from those who've used it for political game. After all, what happens in our homes and with our children is far more important than dogmatic politics.

Unlike many prior Presidents, Obama made a bold and clear departure from the previous administration in his Inauguration Speech. There were no unnecessary platitudes thrown Bush's way. In making this break, not only was Obama reinforcing the message of his campaign, but he was sending a message to all Americans, and people everywhere, that change had arrived. Implementing that change will be complex and will take time, but doing things differently--at home and abroad, with our words and with our actions, and in all segments of our lives and industries--will define his administration. For us to change, we must admit and accept, like President Obama said, our past unwillingness to make the hard decisions, and put in the effort required to get our country on a new path. Old arguments must fall by the wasteside, and we must adapt if we are to learn new ways to live and flourish in the modern age. We must do this for ourselves, our children, their children, and generations to come. Just like those who founded our nation did.

On those two key levels--the historic nature of our first African American President and the necessity for change--again, I am filled with pride and hope. Pride in our country, and hopeful that we elected the right leader to fix all that has gone awry over the last 8 years and establish the foundation that will take America into the coming decades and centuries. But yesterday also meant something deeply personal to me. The President's message of change, especially since the economic crises began in September, has been not just about government, but also about all of us as individuals. What can we do differently in our lives to help ourselves, our families, our neighbors, and our country?

Part of this is a call to public service. But for me, at this amazing moment in our history coupled with the confluence of things going on in my life, I've never felt more motivated and inspired to change myself. Change has to come from within--no one can be forced to make changes they're not ready for or do not want themselves. The only thing we, as individuals, can control is our own actions. My actions and efforts will be directed at becoming a better person, a better husband, a better father, a better family member, a better member of the human race, and a better leader and team member at work. In my efforts, I don't intend to leave any stones unturned. As with our new administration, everything is up for re-evaluation.

I am confident not only in my ability to change, but also in the capacity for all of us to change. This moment in my life and our history, and our new President, have inspired me to do so. I know the same is true for millions of others as well. While there's no time like the present, I'm also looking forward to the amazing change that we will all create over the coming days, months and years. It's a new day, we are on a new path, and we will make our own history.

I'm not opposed to the US Government stepping in to prevent the collapse of the auto industry, but like I've said before, it must be under preconditions that will enable them to emerge with the long-term viability they lack today. Unfortunately for the American Taxpayers, and those whose livelihood depends on a strong US auto industry, the loans announced by President Bush today will not do anything to ensure that the endemic problems of the industry are solved. It's a bandaid when major surgery is needed. Here are the preconditions reported by the New York Times:

The loan deal requires the companies to quickly reduce their debt by two-thirds, mostly through debt-for-equity swaps, and to reach an agreement with the United Auto Workers union to cut wages and benefits so they are competitive with those of employees of foreign-based automakers in the United States.

and

To gain access to the loans, G.M. and Chrysler must agree to a range of concessions, including limits on executive pay and the elimination of private corporate jets.

That's it! Nothing about innovation, nothing about cooperation and collaboration with the stronger Japanese auto-makers, nothing about cars with high fuel efficiency, nothing about forced retirements for veterans past their prime. Nothing. Just some financial rejiggering.

All these preconditions do is extend the financial runways of the borrowers (likely to be GM and Chrysler). They do nothing to force this industry to change and adapt to the modern, global, marketplace. That means they're still going to fail, so we shouldn't waste our money.

To get access to these funds, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson must submit a request to Congress, who can then reject or approve such request. Congress should show some foresight and courage by rejecting the request from Paulson, and responding with a list of acceptable preconditions that will result in a US auto industry that's viable for the long-term. If they won't agree to those terms, let them fail.

I'm telling you, Hollywood couldn't have scripted something more brilliant than what we learned Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has been up to for the last year. The whole affidavit was nearly 80 pages, but here are some excerpts from a CNN.com article detailing some of his indiscretions:

Trying to get some critics from the Chicago Tribune editorial board fired in exchange for state money to assist in the sale of Wrigley Field.

As the governor delicately put it in his demand for a quid pro quo to his deputy; "fire those f---ers." Charming. Watch the prosecutor lay out the case »

And then, as if no one would notice -- or believe -- the crooked governor was behind the brilliant idea, he suggested his chief of staff, John Harris, make the suggestion, "not me." As if that would confuse the feds.

The stupidity (I'm running out of synonyms here) is only compounded when the governor decides it would be a good idea to raffle off Barack Obama's Senate seat to the highest bidder.

And, if no one bid high enough, then he just might take the seat himself. "If ... they're not going to offer anything of value, then I might just take it," the governor said.

Later, the governor put it more, er, succinctly: The Senate seat "is a f---ing valuable thing, you just don't give it away for nothing."

Maybe an ambassadorship. Maybe an appointment as Health and Human Services secretary -- a "trade" as he put it. Or maybe Energy, a loyal aide suggested, because that department is "the one that makes the most money."

Now we're all getting nauseated.

But it gets worse. Ever the caring hubby, he's looking out for his wife's bottom line, wondering aloud to his top staffer "if there is a play here, with these guys, with her" to work for a lobbying firm in Washington or New York at a better salary. Pay to play? Gee, wonder if the feds listening in got a laugh out of that one. Watch Sen. Durbin say 'it's a say day' for Illinois »

And here's the coup de grace: This governor, who apparently hasn't been paying attention to anything Obama has said over the past two years, wonders aloud what he can get from Obama.

His general counsel, ever helpful, suggests that maybe Obama would get the gov's wife on some corporate boards, according to the criminal complaint. Really? Is that something Obama -- who won't even hire lobbyists for his administration -- would do?

Seriously, this is straight out of a Sopranos episode. Scratch that. This is straight out of an entire season of the Sopranos. All I can say is that I'm glad the Feds actually used their resources to do something good. This guy is a crook and will hopefully spend a long time behind bars. The people of Illinois deserve better.

Update: According to this story, a bi-partisan agreement has been reached on a bailout bill for the auto industry. Let's hope it's filled with preconditions.*****

With apologies for resurrecting one of the Presidential campaign buzzwords, the only way the US Government should consider bailing out the ailing auto industry is if there are serious preconditions to such a bailout.

As of this writing, it doesn't look like the bailout is going to happen, but in the event it does, the stalwarts of Detroit need to have some change forced on them since it's seems they're incapable of doing it themselves:

--Backbreaking union contracts must be renegotiated. If the union doesn't like that, then they can start lightening their coffers by paying unemployment benefits to their members.
--Fuel efficiency standards must be upped dramatically. If that means no more obnoxious, gigantic gas guzzling trucks and SUVs, then so be it. Tough.
--They must allocate a significant portion of their operating budget to clean tech. I read recently that Toyota spends more than the entire US government on hydrogen research. Let's force that on the Big 3. That's the only way they'll survive.
--Aging workers who do not have the technical skills to help make these companies in the modern world must be let go. Yes, pay them off for their service, but they need to be replaced with people who have the skills to innovate.
--Close factories abroad. That will mean decreased revenue, but we need to focus whatever resources the industry will have on our own country. These companies want the government to save them? Then they need to work for us, the American people.
--Kill all executive bonus programs and perks, unless X% profit margins are met.
--New Board Members, elected jointly by shareholders and congress, should take control of at least 51% of the Board of each company.
--In exchange for some tax credits, we need to figure out a way to get Toyota to retrain American auto workers. Perhaps all factories could be co-operated (like NUMMI in Northern California is) by one Japanese company and its American counterpart.

It's enough already. The US Auto Industry has been producing subpar products for years. Sure, they're cheap. But you get what you pay for, and it's no wonder their businesses are in shambles. Their cars are ugly, not designed well, many aren't fuel efficient, and they're not durable. The taxpayers should not foot the bill for their fumbles. If they want our money, we get some control over how it's spent. While some of my ideas might not be feasible, if they don't agree to a comprehensive and measurable list of changes they must make, they should go out of business.

First, let me say that I, in no way, espouse the views of Pastor Manning. I am a Barack Obama supporter, plain and simple. So don't go and take anything this guy says seriously. But thanks to the comedic genius of Howard Stern, I was made aware of the comedic genius of this video. It's definitely good for a few good laughs, so enjoy.

Today, my wife and I voted for Barack Obama to become the 44th President of the United States. So did more than 65,000,000 Americans. And today, Barack Obama became President-Elect in as close to a landslide as you can get in this day and age. He won the entire Northeast, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida, Indiana, Ohio, Minnesota, IOWA, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, the entire West Coast, Hawaii, Nevada, Colorado, and New Mexico.

America gets a bad rap--particularly over these last 8 years. We're bullies, we're ignorant, we're arrogant, we're fat, we're wasteful, we're racist, we're war mongers, etc., etc., etc. Some of that stuff is true for our national identity, but today, we did something that most nations have never done. We elected a minority to become our next President. For the first time since the latter years of Bill Clinton's Presidency, I'm proud to be an American, and I'm optimistic about the future. For myself, and my family.

In the primary, I voted for Hilary Clinton. Not because I liked her more, but because I didn't believe that Obama could win--based on his race, based on his experience, based on the mudslinging tactics of the GOP, and based on the fact that the Democrats screw everything up. I'm proud to say I was wrong. I'm glad I was wrong. All the red states on CNN's 2008 Election map (http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/) concern me (based on my assumptions about why they voted the way they did), but Obama ran a masterful campaign and won more than 100 Electoral College votes than he needed.

Despite the masterful campaign Obama ran, and the good feeling that has engulfed much of our country and much of the world, Obama inherits a giant mess. We are in the middle of the worst financial crises since the Great Depression. Our national deficit is huge, banks have failed, people are losing their homes, millions of jobs have been shipped overseas, and our national savings rate has gone to shit. And don't forget that we're in 2 wars, our reputation abroad has been hammered, Russia is resurgent, Iran is on their way to obtaining weapons of mass destruction, Al-Qaeda is still...everywhere, China owns a huge portion of our national debt, we are too dependent on foreign oil, and climate change threatens the entire planet. Among other things.

We are facing a series of challenges that will not only require strong leadership, but also a national commitment to buckle down and see this through. Americans will have to make sacrifices and understand that many of the challenges we face cannot be fixed quickly--no matter who is in power. This is, in many ways, the most important time in the history of America. The stakes couldn't be higher--will we lead the world into a new era of prosperity, technological advancement and freedom, or will our power and influence slowly whither away, like that of our friends and allies across the Atlantic.

To my point above, during this crucial time, we made the risky choice and voted for change--change in terms of our national identity, our priorities, and our reputation and position of leadership around the world. I have no doubt that we elected the right man, who will assemble the right team and set the right priorities--to lead America. Only time will tell of course, but Barack Obama has my attention and support in a way that no President has in my lifetime, and I feel much better raising a child in this world than I did on November 3 and than I would have if John McCain won.

I'm honored to be part of this great country, I'm proud to have been a part of history, and I'm excited for the first truly 21st century President to assume his position.

I'm going to take a break from blogging the birds and try to provide a little comic relief on Tuesday night's Town Hall debate between Barack Obama and John McCain. Don't get me wrong, I am taking this election very seriously, as I'm in full agreement that it's by far the most important election of my lifetime. But come on. This shit is funny. So here goes nothing:

Tom Brokaw: Welcome to the 2nd Presidential Debate, this one a town-hall style with questions from the audience and ONline. Each candidate will have 2 minutes to respond, and then we'll have 1 minute follow-ups. Even though these long-winded politicians agreed to these terms, expect to hear frequent reminders from me about the rules, because they will break them. Man, do these two guys love to hear each other talk. Anyway, without further ado, please welcome the candidates.

[Applause]

Question #1, for Senator McCain. Senator McCain, with the global economic crises in full-swing, how will you fix it?

Senator McCain: Thank you Tom, and thank you to the Debate Commission, all my friends in attendance, all my friends fighting abroad, all my veteran friends at home (I love you and will take care of you) and thank you to all my friends watching at home. My friends, we need someone who will fix our economy. I knew Adam Smith, and he trained me on the principals of sound economic growth. I've done that before. I've fixed every financial crises our country has ever had. And I'm a proud American, and we're going to fight through this because, my friends, we're a proud country. Senator Obama will raise your taxes, no matter what he says. And I will buy your homes from you, and also cease all spending in Washington. God bless America.

Senator Obama: Thank you Tom, and I also want to thank the Commission and all Americans. This is a very important election, and there are some clear fundamental differences between the two candidates. John McCain wants to cut taxes for the rich, tax your employer-deducted health care premiums, and continue spending $10B per month fighting in Iraq. The last 8 years have been terrible, and we need change. Not top-down change, but bottom-up change. Elect me, and I'll make sure all of you work hard to fix our country. That's why I want to be the next President of the United States.

Senator McCain (Response): Well, just look at our records. I'm the maverick. I fought my party leaders. I vote against big government and big spending. And I will not raise taxes. That one will. That liberal over there who has the most liberal voting record in Congress. But not me. I know how to fix this economy. I've been doing this all my life, my friends. I'll bring change to Washington my friends.

Tom Brokaw: For the next question, we turn to foreign policy. Senator Obama, please tell us what the Obama Doctrine really is.

Senator Obama: The last 8 years haven't worked. We spend $10B in Iraq every month, and they have a $79B surplus. All the while, the Taliban is gaining strength in Afghanistan and we've made no progress in destroying Al Qaeda. We can't just go to war with everyone. We need to sit down over a cup of tea and talk. That's what I'll do. And one more thing. There will never be another Holocaust. I love Isreal, our strongest ally, and it will stay that way when I'm President.

Senator McCain: Senator Obama just doesn't understand my friends. I do. I've been there. I fought in a war and have solved every major foreign policy crises my whole life. My hero Teddy Roosevelt said to "speak softly and carry a big stick." I know how to do that. I know how to kill Osama bin Laden. I'll speak softly and carry a big stick. Everyone will know that. We're a proud country, and to all our veterans, I love you and I'll take care of you. We'll win the war in Iraq with our heads held high. Not like Senator Obama wants to do--come home in defeat. That can never happen with our strong military. My friends, I know how to fix this and I will.

Senator Obama (Response): Well thank you for the kind words John, but you keep repeating lies. Just going back to the taxes, let me be clear: "95% of Americans will see no tax increase." On foreign policy, we must solve this through energy, and we must bring the fight to Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. Senator McCain thinks I'm green behind the years, and you know what? I haven't been doing this all my life. But I'm smart and handsome, well educated, have a beautiful family, and we need some change in this country.

Tom Brokaw: OK, we have time for one more question. Please tell us what you don't know.

Senator McCain: Tom, thanks. And thanks to all my friends out there. This is an important election. I'm the maverick, and I know how to fix the problems our country faces. Just like my hero Ronald Reagan did. I know how to work across the aisle with Democrats and bring change to Warshington. And on foreign policy, Senator Obama just doesn't understand. We have a big dick this great country of ours, and we need to swing it. That's how to restore our reputation abroad--beat the shit out of people and disregard everything our allies tell us. My friends, I know how to do that. I've been doing it all my life. And Israel will always be our friend and ally and there will never be another Holocaust. I know how to bring peace to the Middle East. I've visited obscure countries you've never heard of and know how to make them allies of ours. That one over there? He doesn't understand. He won't be a strong hand at the tiller. I will, my friends. And that's why I'm ready to be your next President.

Senator Obama: Well, thanks again John. And thanks Tom. But I don't know why you keep saying the things you do. Under an Obama administration, 95% of you won't see an increase in your taxes. I will restore our reputation abroad. And I will take care of Main Street while I reign in Wall Street. We don't need 8 more years of the same. Senator McCain voted with President Bush 95% of the time. Those policies don't work. We need change in this country, and Joe Biden and I are the right team to bring that change. But don't forget--it has to come from the bottom up--so be prepared to sacrifice. My wife Michelle (Hi Michelle, I love you) keeps me in line, and she'll have me working too. So get ready. Thank you.

Tom Brokaw: Thank you Senators. You may now begin your awkward and unauthentic embraces of not only one another, but also of me and the audience members. Good night, and don't forget to join us for the third and final faux-debate.

I'm baffled by the bipartisan uproar over Barack Obama's recent comments that he might "refine" his strategy to end the war in Iraq and bring the troops home. The exact quote is as follows:

“My position has not changed but keep in mind what that original position was. I have always said that I will listen to commanders on the ground; I’ve always said that the pace of withdrawal would be dictated by the safety and security of our troops and the need to maintain stability," he said. "That assessment has not changed and when I go to Iraq and I have a chance to talk to some of the commanders on the ground, I’m sure I’ll have more information and will continue to refine my policies.”

First of all, what's so controversial about what he said? He'd be a complete moron to say that he was going to bring troops home immediately without regard to the broader situation on the ground. Second of all, he's never said that he would actually do that. So what's the big deal? The big deal is the fact that people think Obama is above politics, that he's a figure akin to Ghandi, Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, or some of the other revolutionary change-makers throughout history. And that he can wave a magic wand and fix the mess in Iraq that we created. Neither are true, but that's not necessarily a knock on Barack.

Barack Obama is a politician. So far, he's shown himself to be a pretty good one too, although he hasn't been put to the test yet (a good campaigner and fundraiser does not a good leader make). Politicians change their mind all the time. They have to. The world changes constantly, and any policy maker who doesn't change with it will get left behind (at least that's that way it should be). So it's smart and responsible of him to say what he did. On top of that, the "system" requires politicians to do so to stay alive.

Our country and our government are not things from a fairy tale that can be changed at the drop of a hat. They are real, made up of flawed individuals (like all of us), and neither is easy to change. I support Obama's campaign, but let's be honest. The US is not a dictatorship, so the amount of change any one person can implement (without the support of the Legislative branch) is very, very limited.

It seems that Obamaniacs have created an image of Barack that he can never live up to--that he is capable of waving a magic wand and affecting the kind of change he's been campaigning about. I'm sorry to say that anyone who thinks that we can just up-and-up leave Iraq has no grasp on reality. You think our international reputation is bad now? Imagine what it would be if we did that and left the Iraqis, and the thousands of terrorists who've entered the country over the last 5 years, to fend for themselves. That would be stupid and irresponsible. We can develop and implement an exit strategy, but we can't just turn our backs and go home.

As I said, I support Obama. We need some new blood in Washington, and McCain is too close to the current administration for my liking. I just hope that the unattainable image of Obama created by his followers doesn't make it impossible for him to succeed. He's real, our problems our real, and it will take a lot of hard work to make even some of the changes he's talking about.