Chundles

No, I'm not talking about Lebron James (who didn't come across as terribly likeable on 60 Minutes this weekend). I'm talking about Howard Stern. The King of All Media.

Howard has been a part of my mornings since 1989 when my older brother started driving me to high school. With Howard's move to Sirius in 2005 and the creation of the "all Howard, all the time" Howard 100, it's basically the only thing I listen to in my car.

Over the years, Stern has taken a considerable amount of heat from the mainstream media/entertainment worlds for being a morally depraved, perverted, racist pig. Occasionally, someone without an agenda will recognize that Stern is a living legend, but for the most part, he's not appreciated at all by the "critics." There are plenty of examples that show why the opinion of critics and other talking heads ain't worth shit, but perhaps none more telling than the career of Stern.

Howard coined the term "King of All Media" because he conquered the radio, TV, film, and book words. On Terrestrial Radio, his show was basically #1 everywhere it was broadcasted. On TV, he had a long-running hit show on the E! Channel (to the extent a "hit" is even possible on E!), and a long time ago, a show on Channel 9 in New York that was beating SNL in the ratings (in New York). On the silver screen, the Ivan Reitman-produced and Betty Thomas-directed Private Parts did very well. And in the book world, he had two best sellers: Private Parts, and Miss America. And most recently, Sirius Satellite Radio grew from 600,000 subscribers in 2004 when Howard announced he was making the move, to more than 7,000,000 right before the merger with XM Radio.

All of Howard's achievements speak for themselves, but they don't really tell the entire story. Howard's been a presence on the radio for nearly 30 years. Not all of it was during morning drive time, and not all of it was on stations that people actually listened to, but he's been at the top of his field since the 1980s when he went to Washington DC. And unlike most DJs, Howard doesn't play music 40+ minutes per hour. He talks, and makes people laugh, for more than 4 hours every day.

This fact alone--the time per day Howard entertains his fans--puts him on a level that no one will ever reach. Oprah, Letterman, Leno, etc? An hour per day, pre-recorded. Movie stars? A movie every 2 years or so that requires 3 months of work. Musicians? An album every couple years, and a tour once or twice a year. Etc, etc, etc. Howard and the crew do 4 hours of live radio every single day, and the airwaves are filled with creative material, not prerecorded material (i.e. music). Anyone who listens to Howard knows he's a workaholic. He doesn't want to let his fans down, and he works his ass off to make sure that doesn't happen. So each 4 hr show requires hours of preparation. Has there ever been an entertainer who is as prolific as Howard? I'm open to a dialogue on it, but I don't think so.

Only listeners will understand this point, but Howard is by far the best and most interesting interviewer in mainstream media. The haters shouldn't kid themselves that Howard doesn't get any real guests. Maybe back in the day that was true, but today, only the most pretentious of celebs (i.e. Tom Cruise, Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah) won't come on Howard, because they know they'll have to talk if they do. Over the years, Howard has interviewed an impressive array of guests, many of whom visit the show regularly. Paul McCartney, Chris Rock, Stevie Wonder, Martha Stewart, Dave Chappelle, Barbara Walters, JJ Abrams, Bon Jovi, Pam Anderson, the Osbournes family, Arnold, Sly Stallone, Toby Mcguire, AC/DC, John Stamos, Dice Clay, Rudy Guiliani, Seth Rogan, Kevin Smith, LT (the original), Snoop, 50 Cent, and dozens and dozens of others.

Sure, all the other talk shows get the same guests Howard does, but none of them conduct an interesting interview about who these people are, what their lives are really like, who they date, when they first had sex, how much money they make, what happened with various feuds or tragedies from their past, etc. Howard won't have a guest on if he knows they won't talk about things that his audience finds interesting. If Letterman or Leno had this same philosophy, they'd get no one and they'd be off the air. Yes, many of the questions Howard asks are about sex, but isn't this much more interesting than the standard promotional fare we get when these same celebs are interviewed elsewhere? I think it is, and so does Howard's audience of 20MM+ people. I can't think of another media outlet or personality that comes anywhere close to Howard in terms of their ability to conduct an interesting interview with the celebrities of our "pop-culture"--people whose public personalities really aren't that interesting at all.

With his accomplishments across the media world, his longevity and "time spent", and his interviewing skills, it's a no-brainer that Howard is in the upper echelon--of all time--in terms of entertainers. But again, what Howard has created goes beyond that. The current cast of the Stern show is, in my opinion, the best team Howard has ever had. Alongside Howard is Robin, his trusty sidekick and perfect counterbalance. Behind the mic is Fred, who is an absolute master with his choice of sound effects and music throughout the show. Fred also delivers with an occasional impression, game show, or fued with another staff member or fan. Artie Lange replaced Jackie Martling in 2001, and Howard couldn't have made a better choice. I don't think Artie is an elite standup comic, but with his story telling, impressions, one-liners, eating and drug abuse, among other things, he is perfect. And behind the scenes, Boy Gary Dell'Abate is perhaps the best producer in the business, along with being= a never-ending source for ribbing and comedy on the show. And last but not least, Sal Governale and Richard Christie, along with a host of other characters, make up the team of devotees that Howard has brought into the fold. Howard is a brilliant conductor and the mastermind of the operation, but without the brilliant cast and crew, the show would be quite different.

But wait, there's more. From his rabid fan base, Howard has brought the oddest of the odd into our world, and made them household names. Yes, the Wack Pack. High Pitch Erik, Big Foot, Hang the Angry Drunken Dwarf, Jeff the Drunk, Elephant Boy, Gary the Retard, Wendy the Retard, Maryanne from Brooklyn, Beetlejuice and many others. These people are all freaks of one sort or another, and they don't beling on radio. But they are part of this world that Howard has created, and the mad scientist that he is, he has figured out the right formula to bring these people into our lives in a comedic way. It's brilliant. It's OK to feel sorry for some of these folks, but don't blame Howard. It's sounds corny, but by bringing them into his world, Howard has given many of these people reason to live. Their identities are part of the Stern Show, and the fans love them. Without Howard, they would just be the freaks that they are, and no one would care.

Put all these things together, along with a series of radio executives who never supported Howard, a series of attacks from "family values" groups and the government, and it becomes even more miraculous that Howard has achieved what he has.

Spending my car time with Howard and crew is one of my favorite things to do in the world, and I hope he never goes off the air.